Planning a wedding in lockdown

Planning a wedding, oh the ideas, the excitement, the pinterest boards and the endless lists, the budget discussions and then the “reality” of how much everything costs, and the REAL budget talk happens.

The browsing of places, booking appointments and endless daydreams about what it will look like. The awkward talks about inviting mental Auntie Doris, who has never met your fiancé and you haven’t seen since you were 12. But Auntie Silvia demands it as she and Doris talk all the time, so you must invite her. Then there is the friend, let’s call her Sally. She has just met Gareth on tinder and is asking if she will get a plus one as Gareth seems like a keeper.  All the “normal stresses” Seem ideal now don’t they! Balls deep in a year long pandemic that has hit the wedding industry right between the eyes and sent it into a coma has meant planning has been proving difficult.

“There is nothing like planning a wedding (during a pandemic) to make you want to punch everyone in the throat”

Never a truer sentence right there! So I want to turn it on its head and say, let’s do this, let’s dream, lets plan lets believe that things will happen, things will be incredible and things WILL be taking place again.

Here are some recommendations and tips for planning during a pandemic, in the hope it may ignite some of the excitement again.

 

LIST IT

Lists, my word our brides love a good list. I too am partial to one, whether you are an online spreadsheet girl, a notetaker on your phone or a pen and journal, I am all for it. For me, I am partial to a lovely crisp new journal/diary and a new pen. There are so many to choose from. I’m not a huge fan personally on ones with checklists etc as I find it limiting, but for those who love that there are some amazing personalised options on etsy

I am partial to a lovely journal from papier 

Whichever way you do it, you girls who love a list will be in heaven wedding planning, it is list hungry. You can list everything continuously! With different coloured pens, OMG the pen options! (googling now!) ok enough now, moving on…

Taking the time to do it.

With little to no social activities and diaries cleared, many are finding time to browse, dream and pin the hell out of their time off.

My very good friend, told me the other day that pretty much everything is booked and decided upon because, her usually busy schedule wouldn’t have let her have the time to just sit and browse. But she had time and really enjoyed looking. We aren’t usually in a position to just look, explore and “get ideas” in such larger quantities. So she really felt able to make decisions in her own time and without rushing to make them when she HAD to. She made them just because she could.

I love this, and really sits with my belief about deciding things. There is so much expectations on how things “SHOULD” be done. Lockdown means there is no should. There is just do what you can when you want!  So what things can you do right now..

“Most vendors have been super helpful and have been amazing to reassure us” Ros

 

Embrace the sofa surfacing

“I am actually planning two weddings, my pinterest wedding and the one I actually can afford”

Pinterest is an amazing place for ideas and even finding suppliers. But be warned these are inspirations, ideals and sadly not always realistic. Think of it more as a mood board, a gathering of ideas and inspiring shots, not I HAVE TO HAVE IT LIKE THAT. The reason I say that, is because, from experience sadly pinterest can makes expectations higher than our wedding funds allow us to go.

If you haven’t got pinterest- then go here to get set up. I warn you though… it is addictive!

Take for example, lets call her Sasha. Sasha came in a couple of years ago, she came in with her pinterest app already open and showed me her “plans”. On her plan was a florists work that showed his most epic floral displays and indoor trees, which I personally knew cost £25,000 as it was a celebrities and they had bragged about it in OK (not that I read OK, but you get what I am saying!) She then went to show me her wedding dress board. Now do not get me wrong, the board was INSANE, I mean incredible. But, they were full of couture styles, imagery was fantastic, trains were enormous, the beadwork was sublime, most were back details of dresses that almost showed the top of a crack we usually like to keep covered. BUT, (no pun intended, well sort of intentional) these were Berta, Galia Lahav and Pallas couture styles to just name a few. With many hitting a cool 10k before anything else. Not that I am going to pretty woman Sasha, she said I just want this look please but I have £1500. Now this is a GOOD pricepoint and nothing to be sniffed at in fact you can get an incredible dress for this, but you cannot get what the pictures showed, nor can you even get one of the dresses she loved in the sale for it. So what followed was one of the saddest appointments I have ever experienced. She was so desperately disappointed with what she could get that she was crying, I mean literally crying, mum was crying because I could see that it was breaking her heart that her daughter was disappointed yet was incredibly fearful as she knew she couldn’t afford what she had seen either. I then spent months wondering what happened to Sasha. I finally found out that she went for a sale dress in the end that had some more glitz, she went way above pricepoint, and she said she liked it, but didn’t love it.

Sasha fell for the unrealistic dream as she had no clue it wasn’t even possible. It still hurts my heart when I think of Sasha, but this does lead me to my next really important bit.

Know your COSTS

List lovers you will love me for this… List your wedding funds. Your ideals, and then the realities. Do some research on what things cost and set your limits.  Some may be incredibly lucky and have everything in budget, to me they planned it well and were realistic, but sadly many things can spiral, as you get caught up and suddenly realise you NEED that full length lace and beaded veil, or the silver option of chicken isn’t right you want the platinum one with the chocolate soufflés. Or corkage wasn’t budgeted for and now you’re wondering if it will be a t total wedding. The extras can be as vast as you want to make them and there are some that you need to factor in.  With all this being said, weddings can be as expensive or as cheap as you want. Your wedding isn’t about how much or how little you have spent. Some couples have sacrified things to get their ideal venue, photographer, dress, or even honeymoon. There is no hard and fast rule.

 

Nice to Virtually meet you

The power of technology means we can still look, browse and get ideas and a feel for things. I truly believe that you should choose suppliers based on how you feel about them and you can still do this throughout the pandemic.

There are some amazing virtual shows happening.

@Bridesupnorth are hosting every Sunday on their stories a “Sunday from your Sofa Wedding Show” Just typing in #virtualweddingfair brought up 1000+ results.

For me I love this as it means I get to be super nosey. Traditional wedding fairs are great to meet people, but sitting on your sofa with a glass of fizz and your notebook is high up on heaven for me… It means you get a wedding fair experience without having to do small talk or avoid some suppliers and really get to look properly at who you want to see.

Choosing your people

The hardest bit about wedding planning in a lockdown is knowing who to choose for each part of your wedding.

My top tips for choosing a supplier through a pandemic is..

• Stalk the hell out of them
• Check out their website, is there an about page, do you like them, connect with them, do they or their work make you smile, excited or inspired?
• Is it obvious how passionate they are about what they do?
• Look at all their social media, do they have good reviews
• Do they look like they care about their couples/brides, see how often they comment on things, do you like the way they write and do things?
• Who are their supplier friends – birds of a feather and all that. So one supplier you adore will also be friends with like minded people, so go back to tip 1, stalk, stalk, stalk
• Get on the phone, video zoom and see if there is passion and what you see online feels the same when you chat.

“We actually got a funny vibe off one caterer and saved ourselves the trip, as we just wouldn’t have been able to work with them!” Ros

• If you love them, book them, don’t hold off until things calm down, great suppliers get booked up, so if they’re free take it as a sign and say HELL yes to them!
• If they are booked, great suppliers will know other great suppliers so ask if they would recommend anyone else.
• Arrange a time to be able to meet in person if that is possible in the future.

“Don’t give up! Keep going, make big steps now to make it easier nearer the time” Pip

Shown their worth

Below is a list of suppliers that some of our brides have said have been amazing throughout their planning..

Ellie at Innercityweddings Wedding planners

Andrew at Tregoning Weddings Videographer

Jon at S6 photography Photographer

Sarah at Keyreflections Photographer

Hannahs at This is Muse Make up Artist

All bunched up Florists

Not knowing where to start is completely normal when planning a wedding, even without covid. You will suddenly be given advice (sorry loads above!) you actually didn’t even ask for and opinions you definitely don’t need, but as long as you remember what is at the top of your list and do that each time..

YOU DO YOU

 

Then however you plan it, you’ll be doing it perfectly xx